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I’d say about 60% of the stories I tell go unfinished because either someone cuts me off or I stop talking because I realize that no one is listening

YEA. ALL DAY. EVERYDAY.

When i have to go pee after a scary movie

BAHAHAHAH!

Wake up and find no one home

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When dumbasses volunteer to read in class and they CAN’T read.

And you’re just there like..